AL FRANKEN, Oh, the Things I Know!
My parents are of an age and from a region where the axioms of, “don’t speak unless you’re spoken to”, “If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything”, and “never talk about money or who you vote for” were unquestioned codes of conduct”. These are the kinds of beliefs that have formed a large part of my personality regardless of my percentage of adherence to them!
These implanted concepts as well as many of my life experiences have brought me time and again to the belief that unless profoundly and intuitively inspired to do otherwise, you NEVER offer unsolicited advice. To do so is really just butting in, asserting one’s own opinion and singular take on a subject or situation that most times doesn’t involve the advisor. Giving unsolicited advice is more often than not, an opportunity for said giver to feel important or superior or to interject their personal agenda. While not pretty—I admit to all of the above!
I am someone who makes a living giving people advice. I am solicited and paid for my knowledge, abilities and skill sets. While most of my work centers on leading others into their own power, passions and purpose so they no longer need look outside themselves for advice, approval or validation, initially, I give a lot of input. I obviously like being in this position of advisor!
INFULENCE OR INTERFERENCE?
When you speak to others for their good, it’s influence. When others speak to you for your good it’s interference! CROFT M. PENTZ
Social media has made it hard for people like me (those who like asserting their opinion!) to draw the line between unsolicited and solicited advice. This evokes the age old query of, “Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should”!
I participate in social media via Face Book and LinkedIn. I am a minimalist with my postings and certainly refrain from subjecting others to the mundane details of what I ate for breakfast, how bored I am or the depth and level of profanity I’m capable of! When I see these types of postings on my newsfeed I REALLY want to “ADVISE”……
With tool bars under every post offering the options to LIKE+ COMMENT+ SHARE, it seems I am being solicited, almost begged to comment. In so many instances, especially with the young people in my network, that is exactly what I would LOVE to do! But I don’t. I don’t’ because, “If you have nothing nice to say, you shouldn’t say anything at all”! AND—I know that if I do offer my comment and offend, it may be the last with that person! The potential consequences when weighed against my moment of “comment self-gratification” simply aren’t worth it. (There are many spiritual reasons for not commenting as well,but that’s another post!)
While I truly enjoy the connection and visibility social media offers, I am eternally grateful that the misdeeds, thoughts and embarrassing growth of my youth are not immortalized forever on the Internet! This thought alone keeps me from “commenting”!
What do you think? In reference to Social Media, is to comment considered Solicited or Unsolicited advice? Has social media become a tool for unrestricted self-expression or one for heartfelt interaction?
Joyfully and with warmest aloha,