The insidious augmentation of self….. & The Promised-Land of “Good Enough”

(No breasts were exposed in the writing of this blog.)

I freely admit that I would gleefully title my resume,  “Professional Student” or  “Well Qualified Scholar” had I been fortunate enough to gain sponsorship or disciplined enough to live a truly ascetic lifestyle in every other respect.   My personal addiction is to self-awareness and consciousness ascension– for fun! 

Without doubt, there are far more formidable monkeys to have strapped to one’s back, and of course I feel lucky to be free of the chemical options available as far as addictions go. 

It occurs to me, however, that I suffered for most of my life from a far more insidious and common addiction that spans every socio-economic and race demographic. 

The addiction to self-augmentation through seeking….   The attaining at any cost of more—more stuff; clothes, jewelry, outings, homes, furniture, books, technology , gadgets, etc..  The list might include education, degrees, certifications and any array of letters to put after one’s name.   Maybe more is LIKEs on Facebook and every other source of outside validation.  A biggy is seeking the good opinion of others at the expense of good opinion of self. 

 

This perpetual augmentation and seeking when born from lack and neediness or “what’s missing” means we never arrive at said Promised Land where we feel good enough, educated enough, pretty, thin or accomplished enough and well—just enough!

When we release the need to continually add to ourselves as a panacea for lack of self-worth, miraculously, who we are and what we have suddenly are enough—even more than enough and the seeking ends.   This is when life is infused with deep contentment and every endeavor is undertaken for the sheer joy of the experience.

No augmentation required!    

ADIEU --Aaron Feinberg

ADIEU –Aaron Feinberg

                                                       

Joyfully,

Kim

Image

The Prison of Forgiveness

(The following perspectives are based in a belief in God/Creator/Goddess as the One)

forgiveness-cap

    I’ve been inundated it seems lately by blogs, books and FB posts about the necessity of forgiveness. The ways to forgive and how the act of forgiving sets the forgiver free.

Don’t get me wrong—I’m a big fan of turning the other cheek and letting the perceived perpetrator off the hook so to speak, but forgiveness is a construct I’m no longer sure of.
Perhaps it’s just semantics, but with an NLP background, I’m a big proponent of the power of intentionally utilized language.

My initial concern with the concept of forgiveness is the implication that the perpetrator of said offense did something wrong in the first place.

This assumption of wrong-doing creates a victim of the one labeling an action as wrong.

The next issue is that labeling inherently turns the victim into the judge. This is the trap or prison of forgiveness. It is in this cycle of labeling and then judging that we close the door on alternative perspectives locking ourselves into only one.

Once the Victim-judge decides to forgive they become superior to the perpetrator because, after all, the victim-judge has decided to take the high-road which lies up-hill of the accused.

This high-road must be Creator/ God-less, bringing us full-circle to the initial incident where Creator/God must have screwed something up as indicated by the fact that the perpetrator requires forgiveness for some perceived mis-deed.
SO…… What if, rather than forgiveness, we simply decided to practice the ascension attitudes of Surrendered Trust and belief in perfection of the present moment (for more on ascension attitudes visit www.innermasterytools.com ).

Osho Zen Tarot

Osho Zen Tarot

In surrendered trust, we believe in the benevolence of our universe and trust that all events are an out-picturing of what might be termed as mis-qualified thought within us. It asserts that everything is perfect exactly how it is showing up. EVERYTHING—people, places and things. In a simplistic nutshell this means there are no mistakes, failures or accidents. It means that everything which has occurred in my life has happened because the universe loves me enough to give me the lessons I need to truly know myself.

What if I decided to thank life for all the uncomfortable, painful, ugly and even evil things that occurred in my past as the perfect recipe for who I am today and for the woman I will be tomorrow? What if I choose to look at my past only as inspiration? How would it feel to give up all resistance to the way things show up –no longer labeling, or defining things dualistically as right/wrong—good/bad—fair /unfair? Would we need to forgive if we responded to life with wise discernment through open-hearted allowance? (and yes, vote with our feet when necessary!) Then there would truly be nothing to forgive—only immense gratitude for the way my life has unfolded and continues to show up.

In deciding that all is well and there is nothing to forgive we are released from our self-imposed prisons of limited perspective. We free ourselves into the ability to live beyond our past into the new and ever unfolding goodness of life.
Besides, I don’t have the balls to say God/Goddess screwed up!

Here’s to a day filled with only perfection!

Joyfully, Kim

Unsolicited Advice in the Social Media Age and Just Because ya Can, Doesn’t Mean ya Should!

I’m Good Enough, I’m Smart Enough….!

AL FRANKEN, Oh, the Things I Know!

My parents are of an age and from a region where the axioms of, “don’t speak unless you’re spoken to”, “If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything”, and “never talk about money or who you vote for” were unquestioned codes of conduct”.   These are the kinds of beliefs that have formed a large part of my personality regardless of my percentage of adherence to them!

These implanted concepts as well as many of my life experiences have brought me time and again to the belief that unless profoundly and intuitively inspired to do otherwise, you NEVER offer unsolicited advice.  To do so is really just butting in, asserting one’s own opinion and singular take on a subject or situation that most times doesn’t involve the advisor.  Giving unsolicited advice is more often than not, an opportunity for said giver to feel important or superior or to interject their personal agenda.  While not pretty—I admit to all of the above!

I am someone who makes a living giving people advice. I am solicited and paid for my knowledge, abilities and skill sets.  While most of my work centers on leading others into their own power, passions and purpose so they no longer need look outside themselves for advice, approval or validation, initially, I give a lot of input.   I obviously like being in this position of advisor!

 

Influence or Interference?

INFULENCE OR INTERFERENCE?  

When you speak to others for their good, it’s influence. When others speak to you for your good it’s interference!   CROFT M. PENTZ

Social media has made it hard for people like me (those who like asserting their opinion!) to draw the line between unsolicited and solicited advice. This evokes the age old query of, “Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should”!

I participate in social media via Face Book and LinkedIn.  I am a minimalist with my postings and certainly refrain from subjecting others to the mundane details of what I ate for breakfast, how bored I am or the depth and level of profanity I’m capable of!  When I see these types of postings on my newsfeed  I REALLY want to “ADVISE”…… 

3 WISE MONKEYS

 With tool bars under every post offering the options to LIKE+ COMMENT+ SHARE, it seems I am being solicited, almost begged to comment.  In so many instances, especially with the young people in my network, that is exactly what I would LOVE to do!  But I don’t.  I don’t’ because,  “If you have nothing nice to say, you shouldn’t say anything at all”!  AND—I know that if I do offer my comment and offend, it may be the last with that person!  The potential consequences when weighed against my moment of “comment self-gratification” simply aren’t worth it.  (There are many spiritual reasons for not commenting as well,but that’s another post!)

While I truly enjoy the connection and visibility social media offers, I am eternally grateful that the misdeeds, thoughts and embarrassing growth of my youth are not immortalized forever on the Internet!  This thought alone keeps me from “commenting”!

What do you think?  In reference to Social Media, is to comment considered Solicited or Unsolicited advice?  Has social media become a tool for unrestricted self-expression or one for heartfelt interaction?

Joyfully and with warmest aloha,

Kim

4th Annual Kauai Marathon, Sore Legs and lots of Aloha!

www.thekauaimarathon.com/   

  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=76Tp1p5I5gk

Kauai is a small island by most standards.  We have roughly 67,000 full time residents, a speed limit that tops out at 50mph, upwards of a dozen one lane bridges and most roads are one lane each direction.  I’m not complaining—I love it.  There are certainly some drawbacks to small island living, but there are most definitely more perks.      

Into the Tree Tunnel

                                                  

 Today was the 4th Annual Kauai Marathon, and it’s the most amazing event to participate in.  The organizers do a spectacular job, but it’s the volunteers and general public who make it the most fun and unique event I’ve experienced anywhere.

The race begins with flaming Tiki torches and Conch blowers in the predawn tropical light.  At the start of the race there is no hint of the potential fatigue that climbing and descending the hills ahead might bring.

Excited On-Lookers

The course for both the ½ and full marathons runs through varying terrain and elevation changes, from ocean front, pasture land and forest to neighborhoods.  People come out en mass to cheer on the runners.  Families, couples and singles with their dogs set up tents on the side of the road to joyfully offer encouragement.   Homemade signs are displayed with advice like, “FASTER” and “You can do it” on cardboard while on-lookers ring cow bells, shake noise makers and wave big foam fingers.  Some kind people even set up their own drink stands between the official race-aid stations—because they can!

Hula Dancers in Koloa!

Hula Halaus bring out their dancers to hula on the side of the course and at aid stations.  Musicians set up their own generators to power amplifiers and play slack key guitar and sing, and kids and adults alike gather along the way playing ukulele.  Even the local group “Taiko Kauai” sets up camp at the bottom of a valley to drum the runners past the 10 mile marker.  The deep resonate sound of the synchronized drums calling you forward and sending you on somehow makes you feel lighter.                                                                                                                       

Taiko Kauai

This is the Kauai I love.  Where people simply show up for each other!  My deep appreciation and heart-felt gratitude go out to everyone who showed up today to make my race perfect—even though I didn’t win!  Much Mahalo!!!

Joyfully and with warmest aloha,  Kim

Last of the hills!

My Tooth, “Adult Onset Ignorance” & Choice

One person’s craziness is another person’s reality.”
Tim Burton

Tooth Fairy?

I was talking to my Dad after my last posting and he asked me how my tooth was doing.  I gave him the update and told him about various people’s reactions to my toothlessness.  His response was loving, affirming and perspective shifting.

“Well I’ve seen you with no teeth and I thought you were cute!” 

Of course he was referring to my childhood, but it got me thinking.   At what age does our humanity become a detriment rather than endearing?  How come when “life happens” to a child or young adult, trial and error learning is allowable and expected but after a certain age the expectation that we should “know” or “know better” seems firmly entrenched.

I can look at my own life and see countless examples of “adult-onset-ignorance” and “she should ‘a known better” moments.  Moments where my actions were far less than squeaky clean and many of which were shame and guilt inducing, and that’s just looking back a week or so!

“Self-Portrait”

Our humanity exists until we leave the body behind.  The human experience is the vehicle to our divinity making all that we go through relevant and enlightening, even our ignorant, ugly and ridiculous moments!  In learning to accept our own human moments, we will judge others less.

I am currently deep into my 4th decade on the planet and I’m still leaning through experience and sometimes not learning the first time!  Just like my Dad’s perspective on my toothless appearance, I can choose the perspective from which to view any experience.    

So what’s more empowering?  Viewing life  from the perspective of judgment and “should’a  known better”?, or through the gracious, allowing lens of,” Oh—another opportunity to learn here on earth!”.            

Crone or Maiden?

As for my current, toothless situation, I choose to think I’m cute, too!    Thanks Dad! 

Joyfully and with warmest aloha,

Kim

Living toothless—the Courage to be Authentic –Jim Carey as “Vera De Milo” and authentic Self-Worth

After breaking out a front tooth at the gum line one otherwise glorious Sunday afternoon on Kauai, I found myself with only one option—get over it and live with it until my dentist could see me Monday!  As my message and work are centered on radical authenticity, recovering from unconsciousness and complete acceptance of our humanity as the only path to integration of our divinity, I couldn’t work myself up into drama or upset or even much embarrassment about my appearance!

Only missing one!

 

My husband tried to “help” my precarious vanity, by laughing hysterically, humming stereo-typical- music for the toothless and being his particular off-center brand of funny.  By bed-time as we were brushing –up teeth and readying for bed I in my sweats and sports bra, he gleefully commented that I kind of  looked like Jim Carey on “In Living Color”playing Vera De Milo!

Jim Carey

Jim Carey as Vera De Milo

Now—I don’t think I’m all that bad to look at, but when I got in to the spirit of play, struck a muscle pose, smiled big while I scrunched up my face and angled just right in front of the mirror—he wasn’t wrong!  At least we went to bed laughing—albeit at my expense!

In LIving Color–Vera De MIlo

Things got more interesting a few days later after the Periodontist had to pull the remainder of the tooth.  Interesting because for this I had to fly to Oahu for multiple appointments and a 12 hour day of business, shopping and public exposure.  After the tooth-pulling, the tray holding my temporary tooth kept filling with blood—making my whole upper set look like some garish Halloween costume—teeth swimming in blood!  The bleeding stopped as soon as the pressure of the tray with fake tooth came out.

Lucky me!  Another opportunity to be authentically exposed in my current toothless reality!  I decided while at my second appointment after the Doctor told me how disturbing and distracting my bloody swimming teeth were, to go toothless for the remainder of the day.

Tray with tooth–sans blood!

This seemed doable—I could shop and eat easily, communicating with closed mouth facial expressions and hand gestures’.  It was all good!  Until… I realized I had left my cell phone on Kauai!  As payphones are no longer readily available, I had to go to the help desk of the store I was in and ask the cute young attendants toothlessly to use their phone! 

This was the true moment of complete acceptance for me.  I enjoyed the rest of the day shopping, smiling big and speaking with reckless abandon—as though I had all my teeth!  What the hell—I live on Kauai, not Oahu anyway!

Our society is quite conditioned to “first impressions”,  the current collective view of beauty and the meaning we assign to any deviation from what’s “socially acceptable” as far as appearance is concerned.   Most of us develop our meter of self-worth based on this unexamined societal conditioning and the difference between what society says is okay and how we view ourselves within that framework.

Circumstances placed me in a situation where I could have disengaged from the day, jumped on the next flight home and hunkered down alone in the living room until I could comfortably wear my dental tray with tooth.   Or I could embrace the toothless, less than attractive reality I found myself in and enjoy the moment and the possibilities it might bring.     

Me–the current reality!

So while the way I see myself might still be a bit off from the “reality” of how others see me,  I am grateful to have been able to courageously and relatively easily represent myself—my true self, which has nothing whatsoever to do with how I look!  (oh—and I’m truly sorry if I scared anyone!)

Xena–Warrior Princess-The way I see myself!

So, where might you be in denial about a reality in your life?  Are you willing to courageously step into authenticity before you’re forced to make a choice?

Joyfully and with warmest aloha and all my teeth!

Kim

Fill the cup—Add Toppings, Weigh and Pay

Screw in Tire=agenda changer!

Screw in Tire=agenda changer!

Delicious Metaphor for life or instructions at the frozen yogurt store?

Sunday afternoon, having picked up a screw in one tire, we found ourselves in the food court at the Lihue Mall on Kauai waiting for Sears to call us when the repair was complete.  My husband was standing by the door of the Frozen Yogurt eatery reading the instructions for self-serve enjoyment of said yogurt;

 Fill the cup with Yogurt.  Add Toppings.  Weigh and pay. 

 We immediately launched into the “what if” game deciding that the only time to buy yogurt is if the line to pay is long so you can eat half of it before weighing, or maybe they should weigh the patrons upon entry to the store and again at the cash register –like they do your truck at the dump! 

We had a good laugh, making up scenarios featuring yogurt, sneaky patrons and potential topping “Cams” to thwart sneaky patrons and then went about our business of running errands, shopping and coffee. 

Home again with 4 good tires and a sense of accomplishment, it occurred to me how our outing together was much like the yogurt instructions.  We were faced with the unexpected—screw in tire; we filled our cup—made the responsible choice to take care of our stuff.  Add Toppings—we made the best of the unexpected diversion and had fun, shopped, assisted the local economy with our consumer dollars, laughed, enjoyed the day and each other.  Weigh—we had gratitude for finding the screw before things went horribly wrong or became horribly inconvenient and uplifted each other by offering no resistance to the situation we found ourselves having to handle.  Pay—we made the best of the day and the day gave us the best!  Or we paid for the tire at Sears—it’s all good! 

While life may be more “screws in tires” some days, it’s more “sprinkle toppings” on others!  It’s certainly nice when the day just “is” and flows with grace in spite of getting “screwed”!

Toppings on Yogurt!!!!

Joyfully and with warmest aloha,

Kim

Perhaps I am the most interesting Woman in the world!

“The Most Interesting Man in the World”

                                                                                                              “The weight of his words would break a lesser mans Jaw.”  Dos Equis 

Jonathan Goldsmith, the gorgeous actor (?) who portrays the “Most Interesting Man in the World” for Dos Equis beer;   http://dosequis.com/  quite possibly could be!  After reading several articles about him, I discovered that he is a renaissance man, self-made multi-millionaire, rescuer of a damsel in distress from sharks and saved a stranded, injured hiker on Mt. Whitney.

The commercials are smart, fast-paced and funny!  Even more so now that I know the history of said “Interesting Man”.

After forcing my husband to listen to me read quotes from, http://www.smoothharold.com/top-30-facts-about-the-most-interesting-man-in-the-world/    and laugh hysterically—mostly alone—I pondered if I might be considered for the potential role of “Most Interesting Woman in the World”                                                                                                                                                                                               

SO Interesting!

Take Fact #1“He lives Vicariously through himself.”   That’s a pretty nice definition of consciousness!  And interesting!

After all, I own my own business.  I have been written about (albeit only cursorily).  I’ve been on television—perhaps by accident.  I’ve saved countless small creatures from imminent death or disfigurement and on many occasions I’ve rescued myself from bad relationships, situations and/or decisions.  I’ve helped clients and friends with good counsel (so I’ve been told!)  And I personally feel as though the weight of MY words might break a lesser woman’s jaw!

This clearly qualifies me for the position!   (If you fall off the pedestal you put yourself on, does it hurt as much?)

Here’s hoping you have a fun, silly and fabulous day enjoying life and laughing at yourself!

                                Joyfully and with warmest aloha, Kim